


Coming Out

by quartzsaleim



Series: Quartz isn't dead AU [4]
Category: The Boy Who Fell (Webcomic)
Genre: AU, Human AU, I just love that tag, Kissing, M/M, Quartz isn't fucking dead AU, There's like one dick mention and that's it, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 14:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11762145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzsaleim/pseuds/quartzsaleim
Summary: If Quartz was asked how he felt about his body, he felt uncomfortable about it at best and downright loathed it at worst.The trans!Quartz/Firenze fic no one except me asked for





	Coming Out

If Quartz was asked how he felt about his body, he felt uncomfortable about it at best and downright loathed it at worst. It was a fact of his life, despite how well he could hide it.

Another fact of his life was that he was different. Even from a young age, he was different from everyone else he grew up with. For a very obvious reason.

The reason being that he's trans.

Quartz lucked out in some ways, he guessed. His family was accepting, especially his little brother Saff, who had been quick to start calling Quartz his 'big bro.' His parents, while they had taken a bit longer to get used to him being trans, had been accepting, and were more than willing to help him along with his transition.

Coming out to the rest of his community was a bit trickier. He lived in a rather small town, so once he was out to someone other than his family, he was out to everyone.

He got lucky again. Most people had accepted him, though some of those people had a bit more of a difficult time transitioning to using the right name and pronouns for him. And the ones who weren't as accepting were easy enough to ignore.

He had started physically transitioning too, getting hormones after a grueling year of proving that yes, he was trans, and yes, that HRT was what he wanted. His body was becoming less of a reason to dislike himself and more something that he could be comfortable with.

Quartz was comfortable with being out as trans, having everyone know that was who he was.

At least, he used to be. Then Firenze entered his life and it all changed.

Quartz was scared of Firenze knowing he was trans.

It wasn't that they didn't get along, hell, after the first month of knowing each other, they had begun dating. But that was why Quartz was afraid of Firenze knowing.

Because, really, Quartz didn't want his boyfriend to think any less of him, or to think that he wasn't good enough or whatever else his stupid mind could think of.

It was silly, really, but Quartz didn't want to lose the first person who would have only known him as a guy.

He'd been good at avoiding the subject, but it felt weird to keep such an important part of his identity a secret from Firenze. Especially as they'd become more intimate in their relationship.

Of course, there were times where Quartz felt he didn't have a proper excuse to how he acted.

When they stayed over at each others houses, Quartz made a point to not show his chest to Firenze when he didn't have his binder on, and avoided having his boyfriend touch his chest in general.

During one particularly intense make out session, while they were both in Firenze's room, on his bed, Firenze had ended up brushing his erection against Quartz's leg, and he'd freaked.

Despite the reassurances that he'd gotten from Firenze, that they didn't have to go that far, and that it was okay that he wasn't ready for that big of a step, Quartz still felt bad about it. It wasn't that he was against sex, though he understandably didn't know much about it outside of health class and the occasional porn video. It was just that he didn't want to come out to Firenze yet.

But he had to come out eventually. It wasn't good to keep it a secret this big, and Quartz knew it.

It didn't make telling it any easier.

He prepared himself to come out to Firenze though, and when they were both alone, once again in Firenze's room, Quartz got ready to come out.

"Hey," Quartz started, when they were both sitting down on the bed, "I have something to tell you."

"Oh? What is it?" Firenze asked, his full attention directed to what Quartz was saying.

That was something that Quartz loved about Firenze. Whenever he had something to say, Firenze always gave as much of his attention as he could. Quartz didn't want to lose someone who was always there to listen to even the stupidest things he had to say. Maybe he could put it off just a bit-

No, he mentally shook his head. He had to do this now.

"Well, uh, we've been dating for a while now, and, um, I thought it would be important to tell you..." Quartz stuttered and trailed off, not finishing. It was so hard to say it, why couldn't he say it?

"Shit, this was a lot better planned in my head," Quartz ended up saying. This was too difficult, he couldn't do this, he couldn't say it-

Quartz's thoughts were cut off when he felt two hands grasp at his shoulders, then start rubbing his arms in a soothing manor.

"It's fine, take your time," Firenze told him. 

Quartz took a moment to breathe. He recollected himself, got his thoughts and words together. He could do this.

"What I wanted to tell you is that, uh, I'm trans." Quartz finally said, letting out a breathe as he did. He finally said it, it was out in the open.

The moment after the confession felt like an eternity, and it stressed Quartz out even more than actually getting the words out. Firenze's hands still haven't left his arms, and his boyfriend was looking at him with an unreadable expression.

Eventually, Quartz broke down.

"Okay, I can leave for a while if you need me to, if you need to think about this and-" As he'd started to get up to leave, one of the hands on his arm tightened its grip lightly and kept him on the bed.

"No, no, it's fine. Sorry, I was just shocked, that's all. I wasn't really expecting that," Firenze said.

"Yeah, well, I didn't think you would," Quartz told him.

There was another moment of pause, a long, excruciating pause, and then Quartz broke the silence again.

"Well, uh, are we still together?" He asked, looking towards the side, then bak at Firenze.

"What? Of course we are," Firenze had said, now clearly shocked at the question, "I wouldn't break up with you just because of that, you knew that, right?"

Quartz adverted his eyes. That was enough of an answer on it's own.

Firenze sighed, then pulled Quartz into an embrace.

"Idiot, I'd never break up with you for such a stupid reason. I love you, you know?" Firenze told Quartz. 

Quartz was surprised by the confession. While they were both generally okay with affection, and often showed it to the other whenever possible, they rarely ever exchanged 'I love you's to each other.

Quartz wrapped his arms around Firenze and pulled him closer.

"Yeah, I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> okay a few things
> 
> 1.) i based a lot of quartz's fears and feelings here off of my own, as i'm also a trans boy. the 'uncomfortable at best and loathing at worst' is how i feel about my body a lot of the time. quartz's fear about firenze finding out he was trans was partially based on my own when i first started dating my boyfriend. of course, my boyfriend is also trans, but i was still nervous about telling him that i was trans too. irrational fear, i know.
> 
> 2.) hrt stands for hormone replacement therapy
> 
> 3.) i strongly headcanon quartz as trans mainly to help cope with my own dysphoria so please don't come here saying that quartz is actually cis or i will manifest in your house and eat all of your snacks
> 
> 4.) this was written at three in the morning so that should tell you a lot about the quality


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